We’ve all met them, failed to live up to their great expectations, had our cheeks pulled by them, and tried to run away from them. We’re talking about the omnipotent and omnipresent – “Auntyji”. Just to clarify, not just any “auntyji” but a special kind. Blair Waldorf from “Gossip Girl” may have ruled the Upper East Side but this “auntyji” from India could surely have given her a run for her life. The “auntyji” we’re talking about is found in every mohalla/khaandaan, The Queen Bee. She has the best and the most amount of gossip who gives advice at the drop of a hat and thinks it’s her birth right to set everyone right.
So now let’s discuss the things they do that make us want to blow some brains out. And just to be clear, we mean ours. These “auntyjis” are so frustrating and will ask you all sorts of random questions and will also be ready to comment on your life. Whether you are at a wedding or just peacefully sitting at home, there one question or comment is enough to tone down your mood.
We have compiled a list of 15 annoying things Indian “auntyjis” say or do which do not make any sense to any sound person:
1. Beta, How Old Are You? Do You Have Any GF/BF? If Not, Otherwise I Have Someone In Mind Suitable For You!
Well, you should ask your children if they have any GF/BF.
2. Don’t You Eat Something, Beta?
Glad you asked. I actually survive on air. Wanna know how?
3. Beta, You Go To College? Which College? Which Course? Do You Like DDLJ?
Excuse me, I just met you. You are crazy and these personal questions are really creepy.
4. Your Son Is The Most Intelligent Boy I Know. (Sarcasm Overflowing)
Oh Right! And you are not the fattiest person I know (with equal amount of sarcasm).
5. Beta, Now I Am Getting Worried That You Will Never Be Going To Get Married.
Such people have the audacity to say things like that. “Auntyji” thanks but no thanks for your concern.
6. So, Excited For The Board Results, Beta?
I just want to kill you right now.
7. My Son Is Under Bad Influence. Otherwise Is Very Innocent.
They might be the bad influence, but your son is the devil incarnate.
8. Arts? What You Will Do With The Arts?
I was thinking I’ll be a Hauz Khas hipster or a hobo. Haven’t decided.
9. Now You Will Have To Live As Per Your Mother-In-Law. Are You Ready?
So, are you here to give me marital advice with the permission of your mother-in-law?
10. Beta, Don’t You Think Only Actors Apply This Amount Of Makeup?
Your face is not your face to decide. Never forget.
11. Who Was That Guy? These Kids Have No Shame These Days.
Yes, I am shameless and I am proud to be one.
12. That Day I Saw Your Son With A Girl At Night In The Mall. They Were Holding Hands, Hugging, And Kissing In Public.
Are you sure, you are not confusing me with your son?
13. Your Mehndi Is Very Dark. He Surely Loves You A Lot.
Oh Yes! I was just waiting for these stains to check if his love is real or not.
14. How Do Parents Allow Their Children To Wear These Kinds Of Clothes?
Just like you keep your children all chained at your home.
15. In Our Days……….
Are you something like ancient or pre-historic?
16. Beta, Isn’t This Dress Too Short?
No auntyji. But your thoughts are.
17. Don’t Call Me Aunty Beta. I Am Not So Old.
Oh really! Then I must be an infant.
18. All The Time You Are On Phone. Who’s The Guy?
Of course, auntyji. It can never be work or anything else. It just has to be a guy.
19. You Are A Girl. Don’t Delay Your Marriage.
Sure auntyji! My whole purpose in life is to get married only.
20. Don’t Worry Beta.. You Are Also Looking Okay..
I am sure I look nothing less than a diva. Thanks for acknowledging it though.